Our Identities Are at Risk: Why Self-Awareness Is Crucial Today

Since I began my journey of self-discovery and progress, I’ve been captivated by analysing the behaviour of others, whether they’re family, friends, or social media users. One pattern emerges: when I ask people why they do what they do every day, most are unable to provide a clear response. The typical response is, “I don’t know, I just felt like it.” But when I look closely, I notice that most of what they’re doing isn’t really theirs. It’s borrowed; taken from something they saw online, a trend they subconsciously adopted, or someone they admire.

That made me ask a deeper question: Are we still aware of what we actually think, feel, or want?

This widespread occurrence, in my opinion, results from a lack of self-awareness. Many of us mimic what is popular or socially acceptable rather than acting clearly and intentionally. We follow trends because we want to fit in, be seen a certain way, or represent a particular status rather than because they have personal meaning.

Since reflection is deeply rooted in our nature, I do not condemn it. Human survival for thousands of years was based on fitting in, being a part of a tribe, and obeying leaders who could provide direction. Because being an outcast used to be a sign of danger or death, our bodies are wired to crave acceptance and social approval. What frustrates me is how this impulse is being used.

We now mirror trends instead of values, and influencers instead of true leaders often without questioning whether those influences align with who we really are.

Social media has amplified this problem. Platforms reward specific behaviors with visibility and engagement, often pushing the least constructive ones into the spotlight. This creates a world where everyone dresses the same, eats at the same restaurants, takes the same pictures, talks the same, behaves the same and eventually, you start wondering if you’re just interacting with the same person in different bodies.

So, what is self-awareness?

In my own words, self-awareness is the habit of asking yourself why you do the things you do every day.

The truth is that, depending on where you are on your self-discovery path, you will most likely not have answers to 90% of your behaviours. If you do, you may not be able to express yourself because those behaviours have been ingrained in your mind over time.

But when you start asking why, you begin to shed light on these behaviours and with that understanding comes the capacity to regain control. That is where recovering your identity begins.

Let me give you three simple examples:

• If you drink alcohol: did you consciously choose that? Or is it something that runs in your family, something you saw portrayed as “cool” in the media?
• If you watch soccer: is that a personal preference? Or did you pick it up from friends, or family, or just because everyone else watches it?
• A pair of jeans: who on this earth doesn’t own a pair of jeans? I find that fascinating. I had them too; my mom bought them for me. But when I started asking myself whether I enjoyed or felt comfortable wearing jeans, I realized I didn’t. They’re stiff and uncomfortable. I prefer soft, flowing pants. And since then, I’ve never worn jeans again.

If you can’t clearly remember making a conscious decision to do these things and more importantly, if you can’t explain why you enjoy them; it’s likely those behaviors were shaped by external influences rather than your desires.

Asking why is the cornerstone of self-awareness; it’s where everything begins. But as I’ve continued on my path of self-discovery, I’ve found that building on that foundation with additional practices can help us go even deeper.

Listen to Your Body

Our bodies often know our truths before our minds do. When you’re doing something, pay attention to physical sensations. Do you feel energized or drained? Relaxed or tense? Open or closed off?

I noticed this with alcohol. When I drink, I feel a bitter rush through my body that makes me frown. And I had to ask myself; should that be happening if I truly enjoy it?

I also see other people react the same way, but many say, “Yeah, it doesn’t taste good at first, but once you’re drunk, you don’t feel it.” That made me question: are we drinking for the taste or the state it puts us in?

Meanwhile, when I eat ice cream, my body relaxes. I feel a genuine sense of enjoyment. Your body is constantly giving you feedback, learning to tune into these signals can reveal preferences you’ve been ignoring.

Track Your Patterns

Start documenting your daily activities and how they make you feel. It doesn’t have to be complicated — a simple note on your phone works. After a few weeks, patterns emerge that might surprise you.

These patterns reveal behaviors you’ve adopted unconsciously, helping you distinguish between what truly serves you and what’s just habitual.

Monitor Your Energy and Emotions

Pay attention to what consistently brings you joy, peace, or fulfillment, and what leaves you feeling empty or drained. Create a simple scale from 1 to 10 and rate how different activities make you feel.

I realized that certain friends energized me while others depleted me; not because they were bad people, but because our interaction styles didn’t align with who I truly am. This awareness helped me make conscious choices about who I spend time with, instead of just going with the social flow.

Create Quiet Space

This has been transformative for me. In a world that constantly bombards us with influence, we need intentional periods of silence to hear our own voice.

Try spending 15 minutes each day without any external input, no phone, no music, no conversation, no reading. Just you and your thoughts. It feels uncomfortable at first (which is telling in itself), but gradually, your authentic preferences begin to surface.

When I first practiced this, I was shocked at how many thoughts weren’t actually mine, but recycled opinions I had absorbed from others. With regular practice, I started to distinguish my true voice from the noise.

When combined with asking why, these practices form a powerful toolkit for self-discovery. Each one reinforces the others, giving you multiple ways to explore what’s truly you versus what you’ve borrowed or inherited.

We’ve become clones of a handful of influential people. That’s erasing the beauty of uniqueness, creativity, and originality, all of which the world desperately needs right now. I’m writing this in the hope that it wakes people up and encourages more of us to practice self-awareness and reclaim ownership of our identities.

How do you take back ownership of your identity?

Start by asking why you do the things you do. If you can’t find a meaningful answer, that’s usually a sign the behavior was shaped by external forces rather than internal truth.

Here’s a personal story:

I used to drink alcohol and smoke weed. For three years, I did it unconsciously — it was just part of my environment. But eventually, I asked myself a question I had been avoiding: Do I even like this?

Deep down, I realized I didn’t. But I was afraid to admit it, because I didn’t want to disappoint my friends or be seen as “uncool.” That fear kept me from confronting the truth: I actually prefer sweet things like cake and ice cream over alcohol. But I had suppressed that part of myself to fit in.

When I finally embraced my so-called “uncool” preferences, I felt freer, lighter, and genuinely happier.

Your unique preferences won’t be “cool” to everyone — and that’s okay. That’s what makes you you. Embracing your individuality brings a level of peace and authenticity that no trend can offer.

When you stop hiding the things you love because they seem “weird” or “uncool,” you’ll find that people are often drawn to your authenticity. In fact, many of the people we admire today have one thing in common: they are unapologetically themselves.

So, take back control of your identity. Let go of the need to fit into a mold that was never meant for you. Be curious about who you are beneath all the conditioning. Own your quirks, your preferences, your voice.

That’s where your power lives. And the world needs more of that now more than ever.